Things are beginning to fall into place. I took the leap
yesterday to drive from the comfort (and well stocked pantry) which is my parents’
house my little unit beside my university. It was the first long drive I’ve
done since returning – that was nerve racking to say the least, had to keep
reminding myself that I wasn’t in Europe any more, and that roundabouts go the
other way.
Just driving back, making the physical move was enough to
re-trigger all my life changing goals that I have culminated over the last
couple of months – all those plans to make the house pretty, to get fit and to
keep a schedule. Such a thrill to know that something is actually going to
change now.
However this thrill didn’t last long. While I was gone, as
punishment for extending my trip, my housemate (love her to bits) took over the
larger bedroom. I have no issue with this, as before we lived together, I was
in the second room, but returning to that room was a strange occurrence.
That room was the room I had battled depression in, and
although the cream coloured walls hide it well, I still see the shadows cast
and the memories hidden there. It took me a moment to recognise that this is my
home, and although the room is the same, I am not.
Currently it is a mess of coat hangers and boxes, but it
will be mine. And not the hermitage that I hide away in, but a sanctuary, a
beautiful place just for me. So I guess that is now up there on y ever growing
list of things to do. Might as well get started, rather than wasting my time on
here.
Kathleen x
Kathleen x
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